Alright, I messed up. The other night, if you didn't already know, I took some "riskay" pictures with one of my friends. Now, in all honesty, they were NOT meant to be taken in a perverted way, but they didn't come off well. The entire idea was wrong, even as a joke. So I wanna start by saying I'M SORRY. Truly, God I'm sorry for not representing you well as an image of You. I'm sorry to my friends, who I know are always there for me and I'm sorry that I let all of you down. I'm sorry to those who look up to me, sorry to those who see me as a light, I am just really sorry.
Now, as much as I want to just say "look, I messed up, everyone does it" and move on, I know I can't. As sucky as this situation is, I have learned a very good thing from it. It has taken this for God to get me to realize, I'm living for me.
He showed me that in this, I have such opportunity to impact others. Now, what have I been doing? Living for myself. Doing everything on my own (with HIm in mind of course.) But that is NOT where He wants me. I know now, that I have a calling to live for Him, and that people are watching and learning. So, I can only pray that you all will give me a second chance, and hopefully see that I am flesh too. I'm not always perfect, but I will try my hardest to show God in my life still. Please, forgive me.
Also, living for me has not been good. I haven't been there for others, I can't ever seem to have real joy, and it just doesn't work. SOOO, That has to end now. This song, could not describe how I feel right now any better. HE makes me the best man, not me. So I'm going to start giving it to Him.
The Best Man
I have always dreamed
To be that superhero
To fly right in and somehow save the day
And I have always wanted
To be more than I could be
But see the fall and somehow lose my way
But the day your love stepped in
Was the day my life began
Cause you make me shine
You make me soar
You make me everything I never was
But so much more
You give me strength
You let me stand
And I don?t have to move a mountain but I know I can
Cause you make me the best man
Even through my weakness
You know who I am
And you give me amazing grace
That I don?t understand
And there are no words that could ever describe
The glory of, the beauty of you in my life
Because you gave your love to me
I?m the best that I can be
I will never be the same
Cause you have changed everything
From the man I was
To the man that's standing by your side
again, I'm sorry. I pray you forgive me, and see that although I'm not perfect, I will continue to try and show GOd in my life. It was a fail, but I'm getting back up. This time however, I am putting my practice, into God. A source that will not fail.
I love you all, please be praying for me!
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Change. and Action.
You know, for a VERY long time, I have known that God is wanting to change things. He wants to not be put into a box, not be confined to church, prayer, or even worship. But to be GOD, the guy you devote EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE TO. He also wants to change our mindsets as well. Now, the big question is, how do we do that?
I've been asking myself this question for a long while now... and I have finally come up with the answer. In order to bring God into other's lives, to show His love, and to truly change your school, church, or even community, this is the key.
You do NOTHING.
Now, before you write me off as lazy, crazy, or any other term, here me out. In achieving most things, this is usually a typical layout:
1) Identify the problem
2) Brainstorm what's causing the problem
3) Find ways to fix the problem
4) Act on those ways, and go.
Here's the problem. We as christians, get so focused on the acting and going. It's hard not to! Especially now, since this seems to be a time of God REALLY working and what not. But, we CANNOT lose sight of Him. The problem is, when we work towards fixing the problem (that is already way bigger than we ourselves could do alone), we begin to ACT. Trying to please God, by our works. Not by our praise, or by our love for Him and His love for us, but by what we can do. What we can get done, specific or not.
Well, here's the key. Love God. Devote your life to Him. Now, serving and acting on what He tells you is good, but it never comes before loving Him with all you heart. Then it says to love your neighbor. Obviously, love and focus on Him should come before and specific task to change the way people think or bring God into the hallways.
It's incredible, when you just ask God to use you. You may not know how He's going to use you, but if your eyes are always on Him, He will put the pieces together. It's so hard not to see the picture of the puzzle and trust that He's putting it together right, but HE IS. So just love Him, be willing, and pray pray pray! Pray for the schools, the churches, and the people. His love for you and your love for Him will overflow into those halls. It has to start somewhere.
Also, chances are eventually, you'll look up and more opportunity then you ever could have thought up in your mind will be lieing right in front of you, and at the time, guess what? You're READY! Because you had been focusing on God, and who He is, you know exactly what to do with that opportunity when it comes.
Love the Lord your God with all your heart.
Spend time with Him, and KNOW Him.
I've been asking myself this question for a long while now... and I have finally come up with the answer. In order to bring God into other's lives, to show His love, and to truly change your school, church, or even community, this is the key.
You do NOTHING.
Now, before you write me off as lazy, crazy, or any other term, here me out. In achieving most things, this is usually a typical layout:
1) Identify the problem
2) Brainstorm what's causing the problem
3) Find ways to fix the problem
4) Act on those ways, and go.
Here's the problem. We as christians, get so focused on the acting and going. It's hard not to! Especially now, since this seems to be a time of God REALLY working and what not. But, we CANNOT lose sight of Him. The problem is, when we work towards fixing the problem (that is already way bigger than we ourselves could do alone), we begin to ACT. Trying to please God, by our works. Not by our praise, or by our love for Him and His love for us, but by what we can do. What we can get done, specific or not.
Well, here's the key. Love God. Devote your life to Him. Now, serving and acting on what He tells you is good, but it never comes before loving Him with all you heart. Then it says to love your neighbor. Obviously, love and focus on Him should come before and specific task to change the way people think or bring God into the hallways.
It's incredible, when you just ask God to use you. You may not know how He's going to use you, but if your eyes are always on Him, He will put the pieces together. It's so hard not to see the picture of the puzzle and trust that He's putting it together right, but HE IS. So just love Him, be willing, and pray pray pray! Pray for the schools, the churches, and the people. His love for you and your love for Him will overflow into those halls. It has to start somewhere.
Also, chances are eventually, you'll look up and more opportunity then you ever could have thought up in your mind will be lieing right in front of you, and at the time, guess what? You're READY! Because you had been focusing on God, and who He is, you know exactly what to do with that opportunity when it comes.
Love the Lord your God with all your heart.
Spend time with Him, and KNOW Him.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
One Painting.
I may have used this comparison before, but it hit me hard today, so I would like to share it with anyone willing to read :].
I am so thankful now that I have found life in Him. Every morning I get to wake up, and know that I have meaning and purpose in God. He is painting this massive picture, that He has chosen ME to be a part of. Although the colors can change, the picture is always being painted. That picture is my life.
You see, before God, the colors were all sitting there not being used. I was so confused, seeking so much more to life, more to the colors rather than them being seperate. Then He came along, and united them in ways I could never imagine, making a beautiful picture. I know that He is constantly painting and that is always something to look forward to in the morning.
The colors are like seasons in your life. Sometimes He's using yellow, which may be a learning season. Maybe He's using a blue at the time which could be a season of waiting or patience. Or maybe He's using a red, which is a season for action and movement! Whatever the color, He's using them all to unite and create your life painting.
I can't wait for the day, when my painting is complete, and I finally get to meet the painter. It will make the painting so much clearer, so much more meaningful. For now, I am just thankful He chose to use me. I know that no matter where I am on this spiritual roller coaster, He's always got the paint brush in hand.
Remember, you're a child of a God. A painting in itself. Will you try to be the artist of your own life, messing it up over and over yet again? Or will you give the paintbrush up, and just be the colors. He will unite you and use you in ways you never knew could combine (as in the colors) so let Him!
I am so thankful now that I have found life in Him. Every morning I get to wake up, and know that I have meaning and purpose in God. He is painting this massive picture, that He has chosen ME to be a part of. Although the colors can change, the picture is always being painted. That picture is my life.
You see, before God, the colors were all sitting there not being used. I was so confused, seeking so much more to life, more to the colors rather than them being seperate. Then He came along, and united them in ways I could never imagine, making a beautiful picture. I know that He is constantly painting and that is always something to look forward to in the morning.
The colors are like seasons in your life. Sometimes He's using yellow, which may be a learning season. Maybe He's using a blue at the time which could be a season of waiting or patience. Or maybe He's using a red, which is a season for action and movement! Whatever the color, He's using them all to unite and create your life painting.
I can't wait for the day, when my painting is complete, and I finally get to meet the painter. It will make the painting so much clearer, so much more meaningful. For now, I am just thankful He chose to use me. I know that no matter where I am on this spiritual roller coaster, He's always got the paint brush in hand.
Remember, you're a child of a God. A painting in itself. Will you try to be the artist of your own life, messing it up over and over yet again? Or will you give the paintbrush up, and just be the colors. He will unite you and use you in ways you never knew could combine (as in the colors) so let Him!
Sunday, September 14, 2008
You ARE loved.
Today, I was sitting here on the computer, just relaxing enjoying the end of my weekend. When all of the sudden the doorbell rang. So my Mom and I go to the door, to find the neighbor at the door worried. She explains how she thinks her three year old son is missing and she has checked around and can't find him. Suddenly, everything else stops mattering and we all stop to go look for him. Finally, and thankfully, we found him after about 15 minutes.
The point of the story? One little child missing, is more valuable than any past time, anything we could ever do with our day. We all stopped, and left everything we were doing, to find that child.
YOU ARE THE CHILD. You see, chances are Ryan (the little boy) didn't even realize he was getting lost. He was just curious! Going here or there, exploring the world. (He's a very outgoing little boy!) In a lot of ways, we're just like him.
We wander easily from our home. God. Half the time, we don't even know it, we're just exploring life. But He wants us to stay home in Him, for safety. He knows what's out there that could hurt us, just like Ryan's mom knew that he could get stolen or something aweful.
But here's the good news. We have a Father who loves us so much, He does just what we did, stops everything for us and to find us again. He leaves the 99 to find the 1. YOU ARE THAT ONE. YOU ARE LOVED. You're loved more than anything, and He's always seeking you. Never forget that. No matter what you do, He will always pursue you. Pursue Him, and chances are you two will meet somewhere in the middle, finding your way back home.
The point of the story? One little child missing, is more valuable than any past time, anything we could ever do with our day. We all stopped, and left everything we were doing, to find that child.
YOU ARE THE CHILD. You see, chances are Ryan (the little boy) didn't even realize he was getting lost. He was just curious! Going here or there, exploring the world. (He's a very outgoing little boy!) In a lot of ways, we're just like him.
We wander easily from our home. God. Half the time, we don't even know it, we're just exploring life. But He wants us to stay home in Him, for safety. He knows what's out there that could hurt us, just like Ryan's mom knew that he could get stolen or something aweful.
But here's the good news. We have a Father who loves us so much, He does just what we did, stops everything for us and to find us again. He leaves the 99 to find the 1. YOU ARE THAT ONE. YOU ARE LOVED. You're loved more than anything, and He's always seeking you. Never forget that. No matter what you do, He will always pursue you. Pursue Him, and chances are you two will meet somewhere in the middle, finding your way back home.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Enough
Alright, so here's the deal.
I have been way off recently. Way off from God, way off from being supportive, way off from showing love, way off from being positive, and way off for living for Christ.
That changes NOW. I have fallen into a routine, and I hate it. It's hard to say, but I have definitaly changed since this summer, which is not a good thing. I seem to care about things that He never wanted me to, and that all stops now.
Things are changing, for the better, and He has placed me in a position to be a part of that change! So what do I do? I run from that position, to be "safe". Well, no more. I'm stepping up, and action has to be taken. But, first this has to happen.
I wanna start off by publicly saying sorry to God. I have abandoned you, turned away from you, and tried to do everything on my own. I never stopped loving you, I just thought I could do it all on my own for you. (How much sense does that make anyways?) So I know I am forgiven, but I'm sorry for ignoring you God. Thank you so much for being a God who always forgives, and thank you Jesus for granting me that grace, which I don't deserve whatsoever.
Next, I want to say sorry to all my friends that I HAVEN'T been encouraging. It's been all about me lately, what's good for me, what's easier for me, etc. I'm sorry, that I haven't been the Alec God made me to be, and that changes now. I will be supportive of you all, and loving and what not. I'm behind ALL OF YOU 100%, and still hoping that you will be behind me too. It's not gonna be an easy change, but I can do it. I'm sorry guys!
Also, I wanna say sorry to SWITCH. I have been so negative about that entire situation, when God wants to move through it! How could I ever even attempt to get in the way of God? It's an awesome program, trying to bring kids to Christ. Amazing enough in itself. So SWITCH, I'm sorry for not being there, I'm sorry for not giving my heart to something I believe in, and I am praying for everything there and will be a part of it!
Finally, I wanna say sorry to all the people I haven't met, that I should have by now. God wanted me to be outgoing this year, and there's still time, I just haven't yet. I'm sorry to those hurting out there, that need support. I can only pray that God will let our paths cross so I can be there for you. Just know God is always there, always seeking you, and always protecting you. He loves you more than anything you could ever experience, so sit in His love with confidence :].
So guys, that all changes now. I'm going to be trying way harder to live for God, and I just ask for you prayers. I can't wait to see what God is going to do this year, and I choose to be a part of it. So ALL OF YOU! Stay positive, and keep me accountable! (Even if I seem to just slap you back in the face) I truly appreciate it, and I'm thankful for ALL OF YOU, and that God has blessed me with people who I know don't give up on me. So here's the line, it's been enough, I'm done living for myself.
I love you all!
I have been way off recently. Way off from God, way off from being supportive, way off from showing love, way off from being positive, and way off for living for Christ.
That changes NOW. I have fallen into a routine, and I hate it. It's hard to say, but I have definitaly changed since this summer, which is not a good thing. I seem to care about things that He never wanted me to, and that all stops now.
Things are changing, for the better, and He has placed me in a position to be a part of that change! So what do I do? I run from that position, to be "safe". Well, no more. I'm stepping up, and action has to be taken. But, first this has to happen.
I wanna start off by publicly saying sorry to God. I have abandoned you, turned away from you, and tried to do everything on my own. I never stopped loving you, I just thought I could do it all on my own for you. (How much sense does that make anyways?) So I know I am forgiven, but I'm sorry for ignoring you God. Thank you so much for being a God who always forgives, and thank you Jesus for granting me that grace, which I don't deserve whatsoever.
Next, I want to say sorry to all my friends that I HAVEN'T been encouraging. It's been all about me lately, what's good for me, what's easier for me, etc. I'm sorry, that I haven't been the Alec God made me to be, and that changes now. I will be supportive of you all, and loving and what not. I'm behind ALL OF YOU 100%, and still hoping that you will be behind me too. It's not gonna be an easy change, but I can do it. I'm sorry guys!
Also, I wanna say sorry to SWITCH. I have been so negative about that entire situation, when God wants to move through it! How could I ever even attempt to get in the way of God? It's an awesome program, trying to bring kids to Christ. Amazing enough in itself. So SWITCH, I'm sorry for not being there, I'm sorry for not giving my heart to something I believe in, and I am praying for everything there and will be a part of it!
Finally, I wanna say sorry to all the people I haven't met, that I should have by now. God wanted me to be outgoing this year, and there's still time, I just haven't yet. I'm sorry to those hurting out there, that need support. I can only pray that God will let our paths cross so I can be there for you. Just know God is always there, always seeking you, and always protecting you. He loves you more than anything you could ever experience, so sit in His love with confidence :].
So guys, that all changes now. I'm going to be trying way harder to live for God, and I just ask for you prayers. I can't wait to see what God is going to do this year, and I choose to be a part of it. So ALL OF YOU! Stay positive, and keep me accountable! (Even if I seem to just slap you back in the face) I truly appreciate it, and I'm thankful for ALL OF YOU, and that God has blessed me with people who I know don't give up on me. So here's the line, it's been enough, I'm done living for myself.
I love you all!
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